PARTY PARABLES FOR PREPUBESCENTS

The Party of the Century

Flyers were not a good idea

Rodney Lacroix
11 min readJan 5, 2023

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Photo by Natalia Yakovleva on Unsplash

“Tell me a story, grandpa.”

Susie sat on Grandpa Rodney’s lap as they rocked back and forth on the porch swing in the humid New England summer.

He looked down at her sweet, cherub-like face.

“Sure thing, button,” he said, as he booped her tiny nose. “This one is called a parable.”

Susie looked at him, quizzically, and asked, “What’s a parable?”

“I don’t know,” Grandpa Rodney replied. “What’s a parable with you?”

In the distance, crickets chirped.

This joke barely ever worked.

“A parable,” he continued, “Is a story where you learn a lesson.”

“Oh,” Susie said. “What’s the lesson in this one?”

“Well, to start, it’s to not keep asking Grandpa questions if you want to hear this damn story because Judge Judy is on and it’s almost my naptime.”

Susie started crying.

“See? The parable has begun. Now you know not to keep asking me questions. Save those for your parents. I’m just here to buy you presents, scare you with stories, and then hand you back to them at the end of the day.”

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Rodney Lacroix

Rodney Lacroix is the author of numerous books, including “The Vasectomy Diaries” and “Romantic as Hell.” He has four kids and is super tired, you guys.