And That’s How I’ll Die

When a dangerous pastime and exes collide

Rodney Lacroix
3 min readMar 7, 2022


Photo by Dmitriy Frantsev on Unsplash


I was sitting on the couch when I received a text message. I glanced over at my phone and saw it was from my ex-wife.

This is not usually a bad thing. If you’re a fan/follower of me, you know that my ex-wife and I get along extremely well. However, what some of you may not know, is that my wife and ex-wife get along even better.

This is a good thing, trust me.

Maybe too good.

I looked at my phone and it was simply a link to a website:

Image from the company website after I Googled, “What’s an interesting way to be murdered?”

I clicked on the link.

Oh. [again, from company website]

“Want to go next Saturday?” my ex asked.

We go out quite a bit with my ex and her husband. Her husband doesn’t drink, so this is a perfect opportunity to go out, socialize, and then take advantage of a permanent designated driver. It’s a win-win-win.

I looked at my wife.

“Hey,” I said. “Jen wants to know if we want to go here on Saturday.”

“Oooooh,” my wife said.

I guess that’s a ‘yes.’

My fingers hesitated to push send on the “Sure, that sounds fun” reply I had already typed.

I mean, what could go wrong? It’s just four friends throwing hatchets around while three of them have been drinking and OH YEAH I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO FIFTY PERCENT OF THE GROUP IN ATTENDANCE. One of whom was half of a divorce settlement and the other one is still mad at me for doing her laundry last week and not realizing not a single item of her clothing is supposed to go in the dryer.

There is a pretty decent chance this won’t end well for me. The last time I was in a room with women holding a sharp objects, it was for my vasectomy. I fear, somehow, that this could go way worse.



Rodney Lacroix

Rodney Lacroix is the author of numerous books, including “The Vasectomy Diaries” and “Romantic as Hell.” He has four kids and is super tired, you guys.