You’ll never fail if you don’t try, so don’t try and you’ll never fail — With the New Year upon us, it’s time to start making resolutions that we’ll all inevitably break by 12:01 a.m. on January 1st. Here are some easy-peasy resolutions you can make and keep, even if you don’t want to. The key is in keeping them vague. That way you’ll never…

Your forgotten New Years resolutions have some feelings to work out — Hi! Welcome to the Discarded New Year Resolution Support Group. You look like you’re new here, so why don’t you grab yourself some coffee and a donut, and fill out a name tag. Here’s a pen that Start a Personal Journal donated you can use. Ah, nice to meet you…

There’s nothing like having children to make you feel like a fossil — I’m a Gen-X’er. I had to Google that. I had no idea what generation I was, being born in 1968. I honestly didn’t know that there was a Generation Alpha until about five minutes ago. Up until then, I thought Generation Alpha was a sci-fi series on cable. I’d like…

And why you should keep doing them — I’ve been married twice, so I know what pisses women off because I’ve been told by at least two of them daily. There are things I do that my wife hates but, somehow, I keep doing them. I feel this has made our bond stronger over time because it’s clear…

But I won’t do camping — Why? That is my response when someone tells me that they are going camping. Why? Why go outdoors when you can stay indoors? Why be one with nature when you can actually just watch a television show on the Nature Channel? Why subject yourself to heat, cold, humidity, deflating air…

A Father’s Day reflection on two decades of wtf. — As I write this, Father’s Day is just around the corner. No doubt my wife and ex-wife are busy making plans and buying things “from my kids” to give to me. Another Father’s Day will pass and my cupboard will be filled with things like beef jerky, coffee mugs with…

Parents, adults, and tired people in general are about to poop their pantaloons — If you haven’t read or seen them at all, the big rage in short-attention-span media these days is the “two-sentence horror story.” In fact, Netflix has a show about them, and there is even a subreddit dedicated to the genre. Meh. Two-sentence horror stories are meant to scare the crap…

Whatever can go wrong, will go horribly horribly wrong — Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong — Murphy’s Law Thank you, Murphy, aka, Captain Obvious. Nothing goes right. Everything sucks. When something good happens in your life, it is immediately followed by something catastrophic. It’s like winning $20 on a scratch ticket and then coming home to find the…

How some of the worst products came to be, probably — There are a lot of products that suck. I’m not sure why this is, other than someone at some point thought something like, “Hey, what if sitting in my car during the summer caused third degree burns,” and — VOILA — vinyl auto seats were born. There is a lot…