You’ll never fail if you don’t try, so don’t try and you’ll never fail — With the New Year upon us, it’s time to start making resolutions that we’ll all inevitably break by 12:01 a.m. on January 1st. Here are some easy-peasy resolutions you can make and keep, even if you don’t want to. The key is in keeping them vague. …

Your forgotten New Years resolutions have some feelings to work out — Hi! Welcome to the Discarded New Year Resolution Support Group. You look like you’re new here, so why don’t you grab yourself some coffee and a donut, and fill out a name tag. Here’s a pen that Start a Personal Journal donated you can use. Ah, nice to meet you…

And why you should keep doing them — I’ve been married twice, so I know what pisses women off because I’ve been told by at least two of them daily. There are things I do that my wife hates but, somehow, I keep doing them. I feel this has made our bond stronger over time because it’s clear…

Walking uphill both ways was the least of my problems — I’m a Gen-X’er. I had to Google that. I had no idea what generation I was, being born in 1968. I honestly didn’t know that there was a Generation Alpha until about five minutes ago. Up until then, I thought Generation Alpha was a sci-fi series on cable. I’d like…

You’ll slay and be woke with this lit list — “Slay,” my daughter’s friend said. I looked up. The two girls were watching something on YouTube. “Wut,” I said. “Slay,” she said. “It means when someone does something awesome.” My head then exploded and I died. Slang terms come and go. I’m in my 50s and have survived the age…

Thou shalt read this and be entertained — Moses stood atop Mount Sinai and looked down upon the people. “Behold,” he said. “I present to you the Ten Commandments!” The crowd gasped. “Finally!” a man in the crowd exclaimed, “The rules to eternal life have been revealed!” Moses looked down, a sharp crick in his neck, and squinted…

Teaching him new tricks is no longer an option — I’m not feeling funny today. This is an odd feeling for me, as I’m a naturally hilarious person. My wife will probably disagree with you but, honestly, it’s her loss if she doesn’t get the jokes. Today, though, I’m sad. I’m tired and sad. The photo you see up above…

GameStop would have tanked decades ago — When I was a kid, my parents bought me an Atari. The Atari was a wondrous, little brown box that — when attached to your 13-inch color television — would allow you to escape into the wonderful world of video gaming. …

Flyers were not a good idea — “Tell me a story, grandpa.” Susie sat on Grandpa Rodney’s lap as they rocked back and forth on the porch swing in the humid New England summer. He looked down at her sweet, cherub-like face. “Sure thing, button,” he said, as he booped her tiny nose. …